Losing my religion

I am born a Jew. Since I was a child I have not practiced my religion in any way (even in my childhood it was more culture than religion; Friday night dinners at grandma, all festivals were around food and it was good).

When the Kabbalah Centre came to London around 2000, I went along and I must have attended at least 10 courses. Although I took copious notes and listened with an open mind, I couldn’t really make the connection with ‘the Light’ (as they call God). It involved meditation and practice to connect to the Light and all  different channels to get there, including scanning the Zohar; the secrets of the Torah. Honey bought me the whole 28 books (or whatever it is) Aramaic edition and apparently just having them in the house will ward off evil – yay, money well spent!?

I thought that I could ‘use’ religion to overcome my addiction and a new opportunity arose one day when there was a knock on the door. Honey attended to it promptly and the door was opened and closed. ‘Who was that?’, I enquired, ‘oh, just some Jehovas’ said he. ‘What did they want? Maybe they have a message from God for me?’, ‘go and find out’, said he. So I ran down the road and found the two gentlemen and asked them if they had a message. I asked them in for a cup of tea in the garden and we chatted about the Bible. It was a way to pass the time; I do like company in the garden.

A little while later Ron (not his real name) brought his wife Beth (not her real name) over and she would pop in at inconvenient times once in a while – I’d always invite her and whoever she was with in for a chat.

For the past 6 months I have been having Ron and Beth over on a Sunday morning to study ‘What does the Bible Really Teach?’. We haven’t yet finished chapter 4; ‘who was Jesus and what did he teach?’ and to be honest with you (which is not how I have been with them) I don’t really give a shit!

Ron and Beth come to my house on a Sunday morning at 10.30 when Son and Honey are off playing footie and at first I had the energy to get up for it but really I prefer to stay in bed on a Sunday until at least midday, so it looks like I’m going to have to come clean and tell them that quite frankly I’m not going to get the chance to live in the ‘new world’ anyway as I am not an ‘obedient’ human being, so what’s the point of pretending I am!?

Not that I have pretended wholly; I have let on that I like to puff from morning until night. Maybe they think they can save me or that I will save myself?

One of the pages in the ‘What does the Bible Really Teach?’ has a picture of a happy-clappy kind of outdoorsy party going on (ooh, see below) – I told Beth that that’s not the sort of party that I’d be interested in attending, especially as there were no drugs in sight – she said that in the ‘new world’ we won’t need drugs … hmmmmmm.


One response to this post.

  1. LOL. ‘We haven’t reached the end of chapter four and to be honest I don’t really give a shit’. So funny. You need to tell this to Ron and Beth. Just give them the plain, unvarnished truth. ‘You see Ron, I do understand about Jesus, it’s just that I don’t give a shit’. ROFL.


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