I have a knot in my heart and I have a knot in my stomach. I have a storm going on in my head; it’s a raging debate between my devil and my angel. It’s driving me insane. My devil is saying that maybe I could score a £20 bag tomorrow night and smoke it over the weekend and just abstain during the week, thus only spending £20 a week which, let’s face it, is acceptable. My angel is saying that it is not acceptable within the bounds of my inner agreement, which is to abstain for 12 weeks. This evening Dozy W is coming over and our ritual is to smoke a couple of spliffs together and moan about how we’ve got no money and no life. My devil is saying that I should have a spliff with him and then ask if he could give me a spare one for later when I go for my walk. My angel is sticking to the line of abstinence and suggests that I put myself upstairs out of the way for the duration of his visit, thus removing the temptation to cheat on myself. Argh!!!! I want a spliff so much!!! So today my debate will continue endlessly and then I’ll see who wins; devil or angel?