I have OWD – Obsessive Weed Disorder. I am self diagnosed. I need the following, everything has to be just so:-

1. Weed

2. Green Rizla (Kingsize)

3. B&H

4. Clipper lighter – they’re not as good as they used to be, they’ve changed the wheel and it hurts your thumb – also, for some reason they hardly give you any flint!

This week I have stressed myself out by changing a) tobacco and b) using a cheap and nasty little electronic lighter – it alters the whole experience and it feels uncomfortable – at the time of writing these issues have been addressed.

OWD drives me round the bend, it keeps me rolling from morning ’til night, when I have to take myself by the hand and say (aloud), ‘Enough, I can’t possibly get any more stoned!?’, even though I don’t really ‘feel’ it, ever.

I love the smell of weed but I am totally desensitised to it – just today Honey said, ‘It stinks of weed in here!’ but I can’t smell a thing. I know that every other fucker can smell it; like in Waitrose the other day, I had a chipped spliff in my hand and five pre-rolls (I was going up to town with Maureen and LJ), customers and staff were sniffing the air, ‘It’s me, sorry’, I said to the cashier, ‘It’s okay,’ she said, ‘we like it.’ I was walking down Oxford Street, when someone burst out of the crowd and pretended to be a copper and asked me if I was smoking marijuana – I pretended I didn’t understand him – Doc told me that if you really get stopped that you’re to tell them that you’re a ‘habitual smoker’ and that makes it alright (my GP can corroborate).

Sparrow was asking how come I’ve not been writing about my weed habit lately and that’s basically because things have been on track for months, there’s been no adversity, the weed has been good and continuous, I now score an extra bag; I feed the weed monster and all is well.





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