High Hopes

If I had written in March, I would have told you that arrangements from the USA for my dad’s surprise 70th birthday, to be held in London late September, were being made by his girlfriend Taffy T. My dad has been married four times in his 70 years but is unwed currently. Being the only member of my birth family to live in the UK, I am used to not being bothered with family related matters, except on the rare visit, where my peace and equilibruim get completely shattered. So in March, upon this news, I Iooked forward with dread to the descent of family members. During the intervening months, arrangements have been made not only for the surprise party but also a brunch the next day, in addition, as it’s a surprise and my dad has no idea, he has arranged his own party on the following Wednesday – three fucking parties!! In an effort to cancel the brunch, my bro – who wants to see Arsenal play that Sunday – urged me to suggest to Taffy that we cancel the brunch and go out for a Chinese that evening instead, ‘just family’ – to which we got a really snotty refusal – wonder if he’ll still go to the footie!? My bro told me that apparently we have to write things that we remember about our dad for a memory book (how American!) – ‘Shall I tell the one where he cracked our heads together for taking sweets? … Or the one where he’d walk into the lounge naked in front of the neighbours’ children on a Saturday morning? … How about the one where he’d drive us home drunk? … Or the one about the woman he brought home one firework night and who wore mum’s clothes? … Or maybe the one where he fucked his best friend’s wife?’ ‘Amazing … What a guy’, he responded. Ah, so many memories, wonder if there’ll be enough space to fit them all in the book? Despite my dad once being a complete cunt, I should add that he’s a reformed character, so with only a week or so to go before the birthday boy’s arrival, I have made a conscious decision to try and behave in a friendly fashion for the duration of their stay and hope that we all get through it unscathed.

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** CALL ME WHEN THEY’VE GONE **

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4 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by officer Dibble on September 9, 2013 at 4:13 pm

    hey chill out he sounds like yer average sorta guy !!

    Reply

  2. Posted by agneedy on September 13, 2013 at 9:54 am

    hope tony wont be swinging his todger this visit!!!

    Reply

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