Posts Tagged ‘Bollocks’

New Coat Gone

I ran in to Waitrose yesterday morning literally to buy a packet of bacon and two rolls. As the store was so busy, I started by running down to the far end to grab my rolls and then scooted up the back aisle to the bacon. As I hurriedly skirted my way through the vegetables, aiming for the tills and exit, my new coat got caught on a fucking pole that was sticking out of the ground near the apples and as I stepped, the coat went rip.

My lovely Waitrose has become really common; it used to be such a quiet supermarket but they’ve re-branded themselves and they’ve gone right downmarket! – as it happens, this has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I got caught on a pole, as there was no-one anywhere near me; it was simply due to the fact that I’d just got out of bed, smoked a big fat spliff and was wearing my sunglasses indoors.

The manager happened to be there and I told him my story of woe. He said he’d call me tomorrow and off I went. However, he did not call me and I went in to see him this afternoon. I took the coat, with the receipt and he gave me the money for it. Off I went to River Island up the road but they were out of stock, I shot over to Brent Cross and they too were out of stock, in fact it is just totally out of stock even online! I rang Mr Beaver at Waitrose and told him that he may have to hang on to the coat as it is no longer available and it looks like I will probably end up having to buy it back off him!?  Strange deal that, I seem to have lost my coat in the bargain! Bollocks.

*  I SHOULD HAVE JUST STAYED IN BED,                 LIKE I KNOW HOW *

I SHOULD HAVE JUST STAYED IN BED,   LIKE I KNOW HOW

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Unemployed?

Honey’s kicking off again. He says that he is sick of seeing me in the garden, smoking, not working, not contributing and not ‘helping out around here’.

I explain that this is not my choice; I have no work, if I had work then I would do it. During the summer I did give some thought to getting a ‘proper job’, like go and work in an office but I really don’t think it’s my scene.

I hope things will pick up soon because self employed is starting to feel very much like unemployed.

Bah.

Gift in the Garbage

I just received a daily tune-up by email from the Kabbalah Centre.

It told me that the Light and my destiny is somewhere in my garbage.

Ain’t that the fucking truth.

I just wish the bin men would come and remove the garbage and just leave the Light, please.

*** FUCK THIS SHIT ***

via GiantGag.com

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