Posts Tagged ‘Disappointment’


My tobacco of choice is B&H Gold – I have smoked that particular brand since I was 15. I only ever smoke a  cigarette as a cigarette when I get caught short, preferring only to smoke spliff. I have a bit of a cough at the moment and the B&H were feeling a bit too heavy on my chest – they’re 10mg nicotine, 10mg tar and a fuck load of carbon monoxide. Last week I tried a few spliffs with Marlboro Silver – they’re something like 4mg nictotine and 4mg tar and the rest of it; they felt much easier on my chest, so seeing as I ran out of duty free this week, I bought a packet of the Marlboro Silver. I am afraid to say that they do not suffice in the slightest, I’m definitely not getting my nicotine hit and it feels like smoking air. I don’t like it.



Failed Good & Proper

I am ashamed to report that I failed on every front in terms of my decision to quit weed this week. As you will be aware, I failed miserably yesterday when Dozy W visited. I also failed today in terms of not scoring under any circumstances. I just could not help it. I’m not even going to go into the details about how I was so good because I only scored twenty quid’s worth because I scored when I said that I wouldn’t. Acting out was a relief. Now I feel a bit deflated but hey, let’s see what happens after this little bag of rip off has been smoked and then I can reassess again. Blimey, I wish I could just wave a magic wand and I could think differently about this whole thing and it would all be over but that obviously ain’t going to happen. This is the  reason why I actually never bother to tackle this problem; because as soon as I do it all goes haywire. All in all a waste of a bloody week, with stress and wasting everybody’s time with something that I just can’t seem to achieve. Fuck, what a waster!



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