Posts Tagged ‘DIY’

Jars of Joy

When Honey and Son went out this evening, I went up to the loft. I was only going to go up there to check on progress but when the hatch broke again, I thought it best to bring it all down. It was nice and dry, the twigs snapped. I bagged it up and brought it downstairs. During my hysteria over the hatch and due to my screaming her name, Lurky emerged and she gave me a hand (very willingly for somebody who generally says no to everything I ask of her). After emptying the bag on the floor, a pair of scissors each, we trimmed the stems, amassing bundles. I left her to it and legged it to Homebase to buy another jar and on my return she informed me that we’d need another one and that I’d have to go back, which I did. On Honey’s return I calmly explained that the hatch was broken and that he had a choice whether to get upset over it or whether to just fix it. I’m happy to report that he chose to just fix it.



“Get a Job You Lazy Shit”

This is a post of two parts; one happy, one sad.

1) Yesterday I harvested my plant. I bit the bullet and chopped it down limb by limb. Doc told me that if I left the roots in tact and bag them, then in the spring it would come to life again. Which is what I’ve done. It was freezing in the garden; there was icy/fine rain and I sat there chopping and pruning from 8.45 until midday. I had two black bin bags full of bud and a couple of shoe boxes with the fresher new buds. I had mentioned to Honey that I needed to get into the loft and he said that he didn’t want me going up there – mainly because the hatch is a bit bust. When he went to pick Son up from school, I went up into the loft and strategically placed the weed around it; over beams and sticking out of container handles; absolutely ideal.

2) However this morning all hell broke loose not only because the whole house reeks of weed but Honey ‘noticed’ that the hatch had been opened – and now it’s broken!! This is because I’m left handed (I would naturally turn something the opposite way and also because the hatch and its mechanism is a piece of shit and Honey must have broken it himself and is now blaming me because his day has been ruined!).

This is the rub; if I got a job then I would have money to get these little things fixed and then Honey would have no problem with things getting broken. If I got a job then I could buy ‘nice things’ for my bare white walls, if I got a job then I could have flooring, new carpets, a nice garden, a £700 sheepskin parker, things that people are motivated to work for but I don’t. The fact is that I am motivated solely by marijuana … my buds should be dry in a week.



There’s a very elderly Greek lady who has come to stay with her granddaughter and grandson-in-law, who have just moved in next door. She is staying for 2 months – that woman is absolutely incredible; while her family are out at work all day, she works tirelessly around their house, not just the domestic chores but she does the gardening, she does all manner of DIY, she has painted all the woodwork and fencing, really, she is remarkable. I noticed her up the ladder yesterday morning and I did think to myself that surely it’s not safe for an elderly woman to be up a wonky ladder, especially as there was no-one in at hers but it wasn’t really my business to tell her to get down and as she is so able I left her. However, shortly after 11.00 I heard crying from the garden and I ran out to see what was wrong – that poor old lady had trapped her fingers; the ladder had locked on them – I am not the best person in an emergency, so I screamed hysterically for Honey to come and rescue her – we both tried from the other side of the fence to get her fingers free but to no avail. Like a shot, Honey squirreled over the fence, got a hammer and managed to prise the ladder apart at the bottom – I went and phoned an ambulance, I said ‘her fingers are severed!!’, the woman said ‘what, they’ve actually come off!?’, I said ‘no, but there’s blood!!’. I then had to cancel the ambulance and tell them that her fingers were apparently unharmed – the ‘blood’ was red paint – the ambulance came anyway but she was okay and he left without getting her name and date of birth because she literally does not speak one word of English.



Killing time just got a lot funnier !

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