Posts Tagged ‘Smoke Weed’

Legally High

Yesterday I met my friend TJ in Camden as she was on a mission to buy something called ‘Black Mamba’ for her friend who’s doing time in prison – Black Mamba (spice) is a ‘legal high’ and therefore won’t show up in any drugs tests that he is subject to. We picked a shop and the guy showed us what the options were in terms of strength – he said that it was stronger than weed. She bought a load of it in little 3g sachets (no cheaper than good skunk) and we went off to find a café to give it a try.

We ordered our bacon sandwiches and sat outside and smoked a tiny little spliff of Black Mamba. Within about five minutes we got the giggles really badly, totally uncontrolable and involuntary laughter which hurt. I’d just taken the first bite of my sandwich when the laughing attack happened and it was all I could do to hold it in my mouth and not choke. We looked at each other in disbelief and agreed that we hadn’t laughed like that in ages. ‘Shit,’ I said, ‘I’m going to buy a bag of that and mix it in with my weed!’ but after that we sat there, unable to eat, our throats locked and our stomachs in a knot.

The next ten minutes were ever so strange, TJ said that everyone’s faces were distorted and when I looked up to check, I saw an extremely tall black guy whose eyes were crossed upwards (the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen) and we broke into another fit of laughter. We eventually ate our sandwiches … well, TJ just kind of dissected hers … during which time our paranoia was ridiculously high. I felt so disorientated, I thought I was in Finchley High Road but then realised I was in a strange land and wished I was home; everything around us seemed dark and threatening. I took a look at the packet and it said ‘not for consumption’ all over it. I said, ‘Looks like it’s not for consumption, I think I’ll give that a miss’ and she agreed.

I came home and went to bed for a while, feeling totally poisoned, and read up about Black Mamba and ‘legal highs’. Black Mamba is actually incense that has been sprayed with chemicals called ‘artificial cannabanoids’ and is totally unsafe, addictive and dangerous! The buzz was nothing like smoking weed, it was more like inhaling a solvent or something like amyl nitrate (which I absolutely hate, having abused it as a teen), it was a quick, trippy high and a nasty, dull come-down.

How can this be legal and something as natural as marijuana is illegal!? This is some nasty shit; do not consume.

** THIS IS GOOD ADVICE **

** THIS IS GOOD ADVICE **

And Breathe

Last week I saw my lovely hairdresser friend, Moo 2. Poor Moo 2 suffers from ME and has asthma to boot. She prefers taking the natural route in favour of taking drugs. As I may have mentioned in earlier blogs, I often have difficulty breathing or catching enough air (hence my love of exercise not only for the endorphins). Out of her bag of magic tricks, Moo 2 produced a device called ‘The Saltpipe‘. She told me that the medical profession never prescribe such things, although it is exceptionally effective and clinically proven (whatever weight that holds?). This is what it’s all about:-

  •  Increased air pollution (and, in my particular case, the consumption of tobacco and weed) is contributing to a growing number of people suffering from breathing difficulties.
  •  For centuries, the salty atmospheres of salt mines have been used to ease the symptoms of respiratory system disorders.
  •  The Saltpipe, with salt from the Transylvanian Praid Salt Mine, is a handy inhaler that brings the benefits of Salt Mine Therapy to your home.
  •  Its salty microclimate calms the cells of the respiratory system and induces their natural self-cleansing mechanism.
  • A few minutes regular daily use helps you breathe more easily, assists recovery from respiratory illness and helps to cleanse the respiratory system.
  •  The effectiveness of The Saltpipe has been proven in clinical trials and is a registered Class IIa medical device.

So my Saltpipe has arrived and I must admit that I have only used it once so far. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and it wasn’t a pretty sight (definitely something to do in the privacy of your own bed perhaps, late at night, in the dark, where you can’t see yourself). The thing is, I have my breathing under control for now but it’s nice to know that I can continue to smoke and be able to breathe should it become an issue.

** CARRY ON **

** CARRY ON **

They Love Me …

… and I have to admit that I actually love them as well – my visiting family members that is. They’ve all gone home now and all three parties went with a swing … well, it was a bit over-kill but what’s three parties when your dad turns 70? After writing some previous posts prior to their visit, I think I surprised myself with the vitriol I spewed regarding my father’s ‘war crimes’ – after all, after the age of 16 he played no parental role in my life and that was a long time ago now, time to let go of those ridiculous claims of the way he let me down and maybe time to reflect on what he actually did do for me and that was to always offer me good sound advice (not that I listened to it at the time and even to this day). To know my dad is to know exactly where I ‘get it from’ and in our case this apple has certainly not fallen too far and I’m actually proud of that because you don’t mess with Big Tone … by the way, I also received 600 B&H – 200 more than I had originally thought of asking for and they were a ‘gift’ – the only trouble is that they’re 100s and not Gold and that has fucked with my spliffing preferences but at nearly £9 for a box of 20, I will smoke them until they’re all gone and maybe at a slower pace seeing as they’re not nearly as nice. You see, even though they don’t want to kill me, they still bring me Duty Free and that’s true love.

THEY FUCKING LOVE ME!!!

via GiantGag.com

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