Posts Tagged ‘Stoner’

Dicing with Death

There has been little to no chaos in recent weeks, which I think has been due to the fact that I’ve done fuck all of any note. Last week I received a call from Mrs Gloop, a ‘mother’ from Son’s school, asking if I could take her kid to a party (which was today). ‘Of course’, I said, ‘I  can do both ways, so don’t worry.’ Needless to say, she was delighted. This afternoon I took a look at the invitation and to my dismay, found it to be in Hertford, which for a dual-carriageway/motorway phobic driver/passenger, is a complete nightmare. The mother duly dropped her kid, Augustus, over around 4.00, by which time my route was planned and I was feeling confident. As I was driving along and darkness was descending, I felt nauseous, my heart was pounding, I couldn’t breathe, I was hot, my hands were gripping the wheel and my head was saying, ‘Stay calm, you can do this, everything is okay.’ I managed to find the venue (which was actually a very long way down a country lane) and then I began my journey home. I recognised where I should have taken a right but was uncertain if it was actually a one way and so I kept driving and driving and driving … and driving. I eventually started to follow Hertford (which seemed sensible given the options) and some time later started following Hatfied and found my way home. But of course now I’ve got to go back again in the next two hours – although Honey has agreed to risk his life and accompany me, so I feel a bit better – and all because I was too fucking stoned to look at the invitation and make a sensible arrangement in the first place.




Everybody needs good neighbours

As I was walking into Waitrose this evening, I bumped into my neighbour, Lini. She told me that she would love to come out for a walk with me some time but unfortunately her sister, Sal, has been ill – she went on to say that she loves my blog – which is a real compliment seeing as she is a writer and generally pursues creative endeavours – and as I basked in her compliments, I completely over-looked the fact that she said her sister’s been sick, so I just wanted to say that I wish Sal better and my apologies for my self centred disregard x



Fucked Up

Of course dad’s birthday bash is a surprise. And I fucked up in a stoner sort of way. Concerned about the price of fags, I sent an email to both father and brother, urging them to set aside their concerns for my health and bring me some duty free fags next week:-

“I am making a plea for u both to bring me some duty free b&h gold .. I know u will both be opposed but the fact is that they cost over double here now and as I have no intention of quitting, it would make a big difference to me. Dad u know the score. If it will make u both feel better then I will defo pay u for them; not a gift x please consider and comply. See u next week!! x”

‘My visit’s supposed to be a surprise … Div’, my bro responded.

After a brief meltdown during which I urgently verbally abused myself in quick succession via email, I think I may have saved the day by emailing all concerned (or soon to be concerned) parties…

“I am an idiot … I meant to copy in Taffy!!!!! By the way [bro], u can decide to bring when u over in December .. Lol x”

… which kind of backed up the ‘both‘ thing? Soon find out.

** Is the cat in or out? **

The week that was

I’ve been running on adrenaline and anxiety this week. I could get no satisfaction with anything I smoked – stuff from Mr C, stuff from Dozy, my stuff – no effect. This is what happens when your main man decides it’s time for the pre Xmas drought; a serious lack is felt, where nothing measures up, where you don’t even know if you’re stoned or not. I had written off my jars of joy but as TC predicted, as another week has gone by, it is actually quite delicious and now I feel stoned again but I feel worn out from it all. There’s two kinds of deprivation; there’s self imposed, where you know that you can and probably will pick the phone up at any second and score at any cost, and there’s other people depriving you and you can’t help but chase it even when you know it’s not there. So now that my weed situation is back on track, I feel I can concentrate on other more important things, like finding some work maybe?

** I’M SORTED **

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