Posts Tagged ‘WTF’

Rubbish

Everything feels rubbish today. I keep seeing a glimpse of a silver lining but then it disappears. I think I have a THC deficit; I have flu-like symptoms, every muscle aches. It is a horrible tale to tell but I do believe that my jars of joy contain no THC! It has been two days since the Doc’s stuff ran out – if only I hadn’t sold one of my bags to Suicide Sal – mind you, I’d be none the better off today, as it would have been finished by now. Doc’s waiting on a consignment, I asked him how long, he said, ‘How long’s a dingle?’, to which I replied, ‘Long’ and he agreed. I have texted Mr C, who informs me, ‘Cheese, after 5.00’ – a silver lining – but until then I have no work, I’m cold, straight and pissed off.

** I NEED A SPLIFF THIS MUCH **

Left

“The Invisible Bridge” – NO FUCKING WAY. 

REPLY ALL:-

“Hi ladies .. hope you’re all having a lovely day (!!?) … firstly just to say thanks to you BN for hosting the evening and for making your delicious apple cake … yummy … I  just wanted to tell you all that me and LP won’t be coming to the book club any more because we’ve realised that it’s not really our thing (not that much is my thing) but we really appreciate you letting us come and have a try … hope to see you all soon, ta-ra x”

T H E   E N D

Punctuation

If you’re wondering where I’ve been, I’ve been busy at work, typing. On Monday morning I remember wondering what the week would bring and it’s brought quite a lot of typing. In my workless plight a few weeks ago, Honey gently encouraged me onto the internet to try and find some work; any work (see Big Issue). I halfheartedly looked around on the net for some transcription agencies (as that’s what I do, transcribe) and found Alan (his real name). Alan pays me way less than I would normally charge but I have had to accept that – I’ve realised that doing a bit of regular work every day means I’m not so broke! Today he gave me a job, he said that the client is very ‘fussy’, I thought ‘for 55p a minute he can’t afford to be fussy!’ – I told Alan that when I employed typists I paid them to type and I would charge extra to proof and that for 55p a minute there was no way I was going to proof it, that on second read there’s bound to be some errors to pick up and that if the client doesn’t pay for it to be proofed then it’s not going to be (obviously). I bashed the 3 transcripts out – the moderator was an obnoxious fuck; in fact, one of the people he interviewed stopped the interview and said that he should be paying for that kind of advice! – ooh, there’s a theme here – anyway, Matthew (his real name) complained about the use of brackets and semi colons!!! Alan told me that he himself has never come across the use of brackets and semi colons in ‘speech’ .. Matthew signed off his complaint email to Alan, ‘ thank[s] and have a good evening’ … (‘Matthew; go fuck yourself’).

* Leave it to karma *

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